Brenda: 0:00

I decided that my decade was going to be 55 is alive. So alive for me is alignment. is what I'm doing and who I'm spending time with and how I'm making money aligned with my value, my passion, my strength, what I love. Okay. The L is love. Am I surrounded by people that love who I am? And do I love what I'm doing? And am I spending time with people that I love? The I is inspiration. So I want to be an inspiration, and I want to be around people. That are inspiring for me as well. And V is vitality. So I'm very focused on vitality right now. I feel like this is as strong as I'm ever going to be. And I'm grateful for that. And I want to do what I can. Within my own means to continue to, have great vitality in my life and then ease. There were a lot of really hard, challenging, hard working years that grind is, Not something that I want to sustain any longer. So I want to make sure that I am creating ease in my life every day because I think ease supports vitality and it takes all of that to be alive, to really be alive.

Yasmin: 1:35

Welcome back to The Real Retirement Show. My name is Yasmin, here with my co host Kathleen. Whether you're retired or thinking about retirement, we delve into the multifaceted world of retirement beyond the finances. This isn't your typical retirement discussion. It's a vibrant journey into what retirement truly means in today's world. We bring you real stories from real retirees and experts discussing real challenges, surprises, and challenges, joys, heartaches, and the myriad of emotions that come with retirement. From addressing family dynamics, to mental and physical health, to finding purpose, we tackle the issues that truly matter to retirees and those thinking about retirement. In today's episode, we dive into the inspiring journey of Brenda Sutton, a trailblazer who transformed her retirement into a vibrant chapter of rewirement. Brenda shares her profound philosophy of living a life that's truly alive through alignment, love, inspiration, vitality, and ease. Discover how she navigated the transition from a fulfilling career to embracing new adventures, facing fears, and redefining abundance. Discover how she navigated the transition from a fulfilling career to embracing new adventures, facing fears, and redefining abundance. Learn from her experiences of overcoming physical and mental barriers to lead an active, purpose driven life. Whether you're nearing retirement or in the midst of it, or simply seeking to infuse your life with more meaning and joy, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom and actionable insights. Join us as Brenda illuminates the path to a life where every day is an opportunity to design your destiny and live with intention. Get ready to be motivated, to reflect on what makes you feel alive, and and to embrace the journey of constant evolution and growth. Let's join our conversation. Brenda, it is such a joy to have you join us today. We've known each other for many years now, I've had the privilege of coming and speaking to your, organization and helping share the joy and this idea of retirement back in the day, Brenda, for those who haven't gotten a chance to get to know you, would you share a little bit about your career journey prior to retiring? And what was life like before you made the big, Step into this next chapter.

Brenda: 4:06

I worked at the same organization for about 36 years, spent most of that time in employee development, helping people grow their careers, learn their job and navigate change. I was working hard and I was a single mom and a homeowner. So life was. busy. And there just came this point when I knew, I get these like hits and I knew Oh, within the next five years, I don't want to be this busy anymore. I want to, have a different level and a different quality of busyness in my life. And that's when I started looking to transitioning myself towards, rewirement away from corporate into doing some other things.

Yasmin: 4:52

Brenda, you were in a role where you got a chance to not only connect with so many people, but influence them and their journey as well too. And, what was it like as you were preparing for retirement and leaving that role in which you were not only recognized, but you were making a big impact.

Brenda: 5:10

Yeah, I was one of those kinds of people that everybody knew. When I would go on the elevator, everybody knew who I was. I created a lot of programs at the company and would do classes, and when I would post a class, it would immediately fill up. and so I felt like I had a community. I developed a community there. And so it was very interesting when I was thinking that I was leaving, the company because I couldn't figure out why it was so hard. It was a no brainer that I would start a new chapter in my life, but I couldn't figure out why it was so hard. And one day I realized. Oh, I've been in a 36 year marriage with this company. Basically I have 36 years of relationships. everybody knows me and I have a whole bunch of friends and, oh, that wasn't what I planned on letting go of, And so that was, one of the things that I had to overcome in myself is, Oh, okay. I realize now community is important to me and I'll be making a conscious decision to probably shift that community. and the other thing that was in my way was this fear that had been driving me for a long time. everyone has heard of like the scarcity abundance model and I have done so much work in my life and tried to like visualize abundance and I have Abundant love in my life, but I have yet to feel like I have abundant money and to be able to visualize abundant money. And as somebody in this coaching realm, like that's, nobody admits that they feel that way in the coaching world, because, because we're going to create abundance. And so I decided for me that I was having a hard time with that. And if I'm thinking scarcity or abundance and I can't get to abundance that I'm never going to feel I can leave corporate. So what's in between? What's in between scarcity and abundance that I can wrap my hands around? So I decided the first step is for me to believe and have faith that I will always have enough. There will be enough to pay my bills, to pay my mortgage, to make sure the lights are kept on and to eat. can I assume and trust that there will be enough in my life? But enough, when you've been working in corporate, doesn't really feel like it's enough. So what's between enough and abundance? So I decided plenty. if I could just trust that I would at least find a way to create plenty in my life. And what is plenty for me? It means I can go out to dinner once in a while. I can have a martini once in a while. I can take a trip once in a while. and maybe there's going to be a day that plenty and abundance just merge for me, but in order to get abundance and feel abundance when it comes to money, I had to create this model for myself in trusting and believing that I will always have enough. And that I have the ability to create plenty in my life so that I can feel like I can, take risks and make changes in my life and not rely on staying in the same place any longer,

Kathleen: 8:49

wow. I can really relate to that, Brenda, because those are experiences that I think a lot of single women have, and it is, you're always looking for abundance, but just having that, confidence that there will always be enough to make sure that your life is stable and sustainable. And that allows you the freedom to worry about other things.

Brenda: 9:13

Right? I wish I would have thought about it earlier because I feel like I spent many of years in fear. In this scarcity, like when you're a single mom, you lose your job, you lose your house, where are you and your kids going to sleep? that's the bottom line. And so if I just, even all those years could have just trusted that there would be enough and there always was, then just that alone would have made my life feel so much easier along the way. Yeah. our mindset and our beliefs, they make a huge difference in the quality of life and the amount of stress that we have every day.

Yasmin: 9:50

That's so true, Brenda. And I'm curious, What sort of mindsets and what sort of beliefs did you have in your first year of retirement? and what did you focus on?

Brenda: 10:00

Yeah, I created this hub and spoke model because I was like, of course, what am I going to do to meet the gap? And I had it all figured out. Okay. All the ways that I could make money and they were all categorized in these different ways. And, that was going to be my next adventure. And when I, Left corporate, I just felt like I needed to explore. I went to Peru, I did this rockstar road trip. So basically I grabbed my teardrop trailer and I did this tour through, Washington and Oregon to visit like 20 different rockstar gal friends that were business owners or, high, Amazing women doing the juggle of life. and then I also did some hiking and backpacking during that trip. and when I came back, I was ready to implement my hub and spoke model with all these different things that I could do, but I found myself not really wanting to return the calls and not really wanting to get started on it. So then of course, What do you do? I was shoulding all over myself, right? Like I should be doing this and I should be doing this and I should be doing this. and then part of the shooting was like, this is the time in my life when I should wake up and I should journal and I should meditate and I got to do all the bright things. and so I spent a good year or so actually doing that and exploring lots of different. Things having a lot of fun, backpacking in the sawtooths, pushing my strength to the edge. and that's when I started realizing. When I looked at my time, like I'm active at least four hours a day and all these things that I say I'm going to do that, by the way, we'll make a lot of money. You know, they're not active things. They require me to go back into the cubicle, maybe not all year, but I have to be in front of my computer and I thought, okay, something's got to change cause I'm not feeling the draw. And, And so that's when I started thinking, wow, I wonder if I could mix like mindset and movement together. And. do something, around that because this, the data's out, humans are not active enough and it's impacting their quality of life and their health. And so I'm active at least four hours a day. And so clearly I need to get paid to do something that's active. What would that be, so that's where I started shifting a little bit,

Kathleen: 12:45

I'm so impressed with your dedication to, the design of your journey. that's something that I think takes a lot of work, even if it's just mindset work to put yourself in that position to start designing the future that you want to live. And, I'm curious about a comment that you said, a few minutes ago, and that was that you didn't retire. It was rewirement.

Brenda: 13:11

right?

Kathleen: 13:12

can you give us a little bit of information? How did you come up with that? And what's the concept behind that term?

Brenda: 13:18

Yeah, I mean I was I'm only I'm 57, but I was only 55 55 Like you're not old enough to retire, What we have said retirement is just not what I am willing to do when I'm 55. And so I decided that's the time when it's rewirement. You rewire what you're doing. I stood back and said, okay, what am I good at? What do I love? What am I passionate about? what do I want to let go of? All these things. And then now I get to design my next step. See, I believe we design our life every day. One action, reaction, decision, everything we say and do designs our life experience. And so, I feel like I just have been doing that over and over in my life. Now, I am designing this rewirement phase. and I think that, retirement isn't like it used to be also, whether you're 65 or 55 when you leave corporate. I don't mean to be blunt, but if you don't know what you want to do, retirement for a lot of people is just redirement. Basically, you end up, people die. They fizzle away. They literally fizzle away if they can't figure out how to rewire. Rather than just retire. As humans, we need something to do. We need a passion and a purpose.

Kathleen: 14:49

you hit the nail on the head. The purpose is the thing that drives and motivates and keeps us moving forward and helps us enjoy conversations like this.

Yasmin: 14:59

Brenda, I remember in a previous conversation, you shared with me your relationship with, Physical activity in your body. How did you rewire your mindset and your body as well to really step into a chapter now in which activity is so important to you

Brenda: 15:17

Well, it's kind of amazing. a lot of the people that I know now would be like, Brenda's been active forever, but that's not true. I had a foot issue and was on the sidelines, excused from physical education my entire life. I was not active until I was in my thirties. I had never even walked two miles until I was in my thirties, and now I have hiked and backpacked some of the hardest things out there. after I had my foot fixed, there was still another, I think, almost a decade that in my mind, I still didn't think I could do it. It was just so interesting. It's so interesting how powerful our mind is. and then there were a couple of years that I experienced some deep, dark depression. And during that time, I realized I needed to be walking and exercising. And that's when I started walking regularly. And that's of bumped myself up to like regular two mile walks. But I still all of those years didn't think that I could ever do any more than that. It was my eight year old daughter that coached me around a half mile loop in the neighborhood. Because one day out of the blue, I said, I want to run this loop. And she coached me around that loop. She was in a martial arts class. So she warmed me up in the driveway, coached me around that loop. And that summer I ran the hood to coast. And that was the start.

Kathleen: 16:51

Wow. Wow.

Brenda: 16:52

and even if we haven't been active all of our life, we can start now. And it just starts with small steps and figuring out what works for us to be more active inside, outside, walking, running, strength training. What is it?

Yasmin: 17:11

Brenda, for those who are not familiar with the hood to coast, would you share what that is?

Kathleen: 17:16

I would love to know what that is.

Brenda: 17:18

it's a relay race that goes from Mount Hood in Oregon, all the way to the beach. I didn't bring my notes on this, so I don't know how many miles, but everybody gets like three legs. they're like 7 to 10 mile legs, and you take turns running this obstacle course together. and it goes all the way from Mount Hood to the beach, the coast. And,

Kathleen: 17:44

I'm sorry, I have to interrupt you right here. You're telling me that you did one of these legs 7 to 10 miles? And before,

Brenda: 17:53

three of them. Everybody does three legs.

Kathleen: 17:58

wow, I'm impressed.

Brenda: 18:01

Yeah.

Kathleen: 18:02

Wow, I'm impressed. I'm impressed.

Brenda: 18:04

mean, those legs are broke but it's amazing. Like that was within six months of me running my first half mile. And only a couple of years prior to that, I never would have ever thought that I would even walk more than two miles, I would tell my friends. They'd say, Brenda, do you want to go on a hike? And they'd be like, how long is it? Well, it's only three miles. And I'm like, I can't go, sorry. I can't do three mile. Yeah. Yeah, until one of them, one of my friends came in my living room and looked at me and said, You know what I call BS on you. I see you dance. I know you can hike. And next time we go, you're coming. You know, we need those kinds of friends, right? We need that because sometimes it's hard to see in ourselves what we are capable of and the feeling of breaking through, of something that you didn't think you were capable of to get to the other side is incredible. It's really incredible.

Yasmin: 19:09

That's so powerful, Brenda. Having those relationships, that type of community to, again, see you for what sometimes we can't see in ourselves, but also hold your hand, give you a little nudge. I so appreciate that Kathleen and I have been on this journey and she's constantly nudging me as well as I'm nudging her in other ways too. But those are the relationships that give us, This light, the hope that, move us forward when we think that we can only go so far and really supports that mindset that you've, shared so far.

Kathleen: 19:41

I think that one of the things that coaches do, really that's, I think their role is to nudge, encourage, and support certainly to a large extent, but you can't support until you nudge and encourage. So I think that it's Incredibly important to recognize that nudging is a good thing and it's how the wheel starts.

Yasmin: 20:04

the sign behind you and the first word at the top there that says alive. And when I think of you and just the conversations we've had, the times we've spent together, I always feel this theme or this sense of aliveness from you, even as you've transitioned from one chapter to the next, would you share with us a little bit about what a alive looks like for you? And, how do others experience aliveness? Especially in retirement.

Brenda: 20:30

sure. First, before I do though, anything that I've shared or that's talked about, remember we get to define it for ourselves. Okay, any of these terms that we've talked about or thrown around, we get to define ourselves. So I get to define what ALIVE is for me, and that could be totally different for everyone else. people do these words of the year or whatever, and I can never get a word, so I made an acronym. It's a major life decision to create a word. I decided that my decade was going to be 55 is alive. and what is alive for me. So alive for me is alignment. So that's what I'm making. Okay. is what I'm doing and who I'm spending time with and how I'm making money aligned with my value, my passion, my strength, what I love. Okay. The L is love. Am I surrounded by people that love who I am? And do I love what I'm doing? And am I spending time with people that I love? The I is inspiration. So I want to be an inspiration, and I want to be around people. That are inspiring for me as well. And V is vitality. So I'm very focused on vitality right now. I feel like this is as strong as I'm ever going to be. And I'm grateful for that. And I want to do what I can. Within my own means to continue to, have great vitality in my life and then ease. There were a lot of really hard, challenging, hard working years that grind is, Not something that I want to sustain any longer. So I want to make sure that I am creating ease in my life every day because I think ease supports vitality and it takes all of that to be alive, to really be alive.

Kathleen: 22:36

a great mantra.

Brenda: 22:38

And everyone can make up their own mantra, right? Their own word, their own acronym, and we can redefine it anytime we want. Thank you.

Kathleen: 22:47

I'm going to be honest. our whole show is all about, real people and honest impressions. And I feel like right now, you've inspired me. I feel like I've fallen behind and, but I think it's really important to recognize, where you might have areas that you want to pay more attention to and maybe develop a stronger feeling towards that area of your life, and sometimes we don't take the time to reflect. And sometimes, as you've done, holding up a mirror, wow, that reflection comes clear and bold to us. I'm all ears here. I'm in, and I'm all ears. So I'm really enjoying this. I needed this.

Brenda: 23:32

be good to yourself and I know there's a whole laundry list of successful, amazing things that you've done and look at the vitality you have going on that you get to work with and just continue making things better for yourself.

Yasmin: 23:47

Brenda, I appreciated that before you shared what aliveness was for you, that you mentioned that it's different for everyone. And I think it's similar with this concept of joy, which I've explored deeply on is that joy is not something you sustain continually. And I would imagine aliveness is similar in that we have moments of aliveness and there are moments in which. We might not have that perhaps alignment or inspiration or vitality and that's okay because it gives us a chance in the next moment to experience aliveness or experience joy too. And so it's a choice. It's a mindset, like you said, and having the clarity on What is it that impacts? What is it that, activates our aliveness? Like in your case, it's the alignment, the love, the inspiration, vitality, it's the ease gives us that clarity to be able to perhaps re engage in that experience.

Brenda: 24:42

Yeah. And also one of the big questions I ask myself regularly is what's most important to me over and over again. It keeps me, in line with what's most important to me, if you're in the middle of a challenging thing. moment with someone in a relationship, it, it keeps your words straight up too, right? It keeps your reactions straight up. What's most important to me? And so it's just really a powerful question. What's most important to me today or in this moment, is very related to living a life that's alive and alive is, sometimes it's scary, right? and that's okay. I'm going to Portland state right now and I'm engaging myself in group fitness. And, I realized in this moment on my way down there to my class, Oh my gosh, I am so excited. And I'm so scared. Like I have to lead this class. I'm 57. I do not look like the other group instructors, okay, in their workout top and spandex. Yes. and so I was like, Oh my gosh, I have like, Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. I'm like, Oh, I am so scared. And I was like, Oh my gosh, that is

Kathleen: 26:01

have a question for you, and I love the way you've explained this to us, but if you're dealing with your concept of being alive, how would you help a retiree who is spending their first year kind of excited and involved in what they thought retirement was for them, but then they found in the second year, things shifted. And how would you help them discover that alive feeling that you've described to us?

Brenda: 26:28

I actually have an acronym for REWIRE that's a whole bunch of different questions. to really think about how we want to define that our rewirement stage of our life. So that we can be living it consciously. If we're living it consciously and we're at least somewhat focused on what's most important to us, we're probably going to be on the scale, the aliveness scale somewhere, if we're of doing our day and getting through our days, then slowly, that's just going to take over us. and it doesn't mean that it's not going to be a quality day or a quality experience, but it's a different quality experience when you're designing it as you go, when you're curious about it, and when you ask yourself, what's most important? Do I feel alive? And if yes, then Great. I'll keep doing this. If no, what one thing do I want to shift? Ernest Hemingway says, change happens gradually and then suddenly. That's our life. That's our experience all the time.

Kathleen: 27:39

You mentioned something and I, it really sparked, an interest. The word was curiosity. Talk to us a little bit about your, approach to that element within your life.

Brenda: 27:53

think being curious is magic. Being curious, about everything, helps us to Again, design our experience. It helps us be more compassionate with other people. It helps us learn. It helps us, know what we may or may not want to do in our next step. it keeps us young. I think that practicing curiosity is, it's a daily practice more than a daily practice. It's an all the time practice. and, you know, Yeah, being curious is quite a spice for our life. It's necessary for expanding our experience in our life. And it helps us with our loved ones. It helps us with our experience every day, just going to the grocery store. I love food. The word curious. It's been my word before.

Kathleen: 28:49

I just wonder if you believe curiosity is the fuel for vitality

Brenda: 28:57

Oh, I think it's part of mean, I think that the fuel for vitality, it's like pie. There's a whole bunch of different ingredients and those ingredients would be different for everybody. And that's the thing. When we have a word, we get to define it and change it. We get to mold it and grow it. Anytime we want. So yes, definitely. Curiosity would be part of that. And so when we have a word or an acronym, we get to break it down. and so in rewirement, when we think about what we want, I think breaking it down is important and revisiting it and rewriting it, what's working, what's not, what do I want to do different? And that's that change happens gradually. And then suddenly you go, Oh my gosh, I'm here. This is my life. I was just a single mom and this is my life. This is amazing.

Yasmin: 29:57

Yeah. Brenda, I'm curious. what have you been curious about lately?

Brenda: 30:03

well, I'm spending a bit of time with my, parents as they get older, and there's so many things nobody tells us. I'm trying really hard to be curious about the challenges that people have when they get older they don't tell us. And we don't know. And so we don't even necessarily act as compassionate as we could if we knew. And I sort of have this, I'm always trying to learn, be compassionate with people because I feel like there's been times in my life that I've been like this 150%, 150 percent of the time person. And, that if I can't have compassion, then I'm gifted that experience. There's been a couple experiences I've been gifted that I'm like, I don't want to do that again. And so I really try hard now to maybe that's selfish to be to really try to explore other people's experience. And right now it is definitely the experience of my aging parents that I'm really, really curious about. I'm also, very curious about the human condition and. How can I organically encourage people to be more active in a way that it's fun for them and it gradually and then suddenly starts impacting their health?

Yasmin: 31:33

Is there a mindset shift that you can help someone be more active who may have had more of a sedentary habit at this stage?

Brenda: 31:46

Well, I think that's also like pie. There's lots of ingredients to that, right? so, we have to know why, you know? Yeah, isn't it? Yeah. Why? So maybe someone has a grandchild coming and they really have noticed that it's getting hard to get up and down off the floor. Well, and they really want to play with this grandchild. They want to lift this this grandchild. grandchild up, they want to hold it, they want to crawl on the floor with the grandchild. There's a good why, right? And so I think we have to explore, why and what's in it for me if I start doing that. But if people don't realize that, then if they don't have a reason and can't Find a reason that it's going to be harder for them to be motivated to keep being active. cause it's amazing as humans. Like we think that we're not going to be, that's not going to happen to us.

Kathleen: 32:50

It's true.

Brenda: 32:52

And so it has to be something that's real. Like we don't want to hurt our back lifting our grand kid. or, doing fun things in our life that we want to be able to do. We just don't want to get hurt when we're doing them. yeah, and act, activity looks different at every age and every stage and for everybody, right? And so we have to design that and make that up.

Yasmin: 33:19

that sounds like an opportunity to create a whole new brand of workouts called, lifting your grandchild. It's a whole different type of exercise, you know, and lift press.

Kathleen: 33:29

Actually, I, know a lot of people who would be involved in that, Yasmin. I Get to meet my great grandchild this summer and I'm excited because he's kind of a chunker. So I know that I'm going to really have to work out.

Yasmin: 33:42

but you're to your point though, Brenda, the, why is so compelling. And if you can inspire yourself with the possibility of seeing a magnificent sunrise on the top of the hill and that be your driving, why it can really get you through. Some of the physical challenges to getting there.

Brenda: 34:03

Yes, I, did the sawtooths this last summer with my partner and there were times on that backpacking trip, you know, like seven days, 12, 15 miles a day with everything on my back with elevation, it's very very challenging backpacking trip that I was wondering Why am I doing this? Why do I do this? Like, when do I stop? when am I too old and when do I stop? And then, I get into this place where it's just, kind of this quiet zone of, there's no lights and no noise and it's just, Pure nature and I'm like, wow, and the sunsets and the sun rises and the lakes and the animals. And I'm like, this is why, I never used to, but I'm like, oh my gosh, do I really want to do this? And that's when I have to take myself back to that. Why? Yeah. I do want to do

Kathleen: 34:58

I noticed on your website you referred to, walk and talk. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Brenda: 35:05

do. I do. Walk and talk started for me in the corporate world. because people all over the company would call me, um, and ask if they could spend time with me talking about their next career step. it really wasn't necessarily my job to talk to people about that. and so I decided that if it was under 30 minutes, And if they were able, and we were walking and talking, I would always allow for that time on my calendar. And so that's where it started. before I left corporate, I actually, got certified to be a professional coach and I was doing different types of coaching and I went back to the walk and talk coaching because so much happens for us when we're moving like the epiphanies The conversation is just so easy and I'm not talking about a, grinding walk. I'm just talking about casual movement, walk and talk coaching. and so I've grown to really like that style of working with people when they're processing a change that they want to make or when they're thinking something over or need to talk about, communication or analyze, that next step in their life. yeah, walk and talk coaching is my favorite.

Yasmin: 36:31

Well, Brenda, you and I have had at least a handful of walk in talks together in person, and I can certainly attest that, not only does it get the blood flowing, but sure, the ideas, the inspiration, and there's studies that have shown the direct connection between our physiology as well as our psychology, and it certainly impacts our moods as well. So I can give you a testimonial on the benefits of it.

Brenda: 36:57

Yeah. It's my favorite way to see the epiphanies come, through people. Yeah.

Yasmin: 37:03

Brenda, as we, reflect on our conversation today, what advice would you share with someone who is either preparing to retire or perhaps they're in that first phase of retirement in which they're or rewirement, let me say that, they're looking to experience aliveness in their own way.

Brenda: 37:23

I mean, there's the practical side, I think it's great to kind of evaluate that gap. And the other practical thing I did was two years prior to leaving corporate, I actually lived off of the amount of money that I would have when I left and all of the other money I put into my house. And so I invested it in things that I knew that I would want to invest in, in my home. so that's the practical side. The other thing is, I think that, that curiosity and taking a deep dive and thinking about what we, you What we love, what we're good at, what we're passionate about, what we don't love, all of that, and really paying attention to that and thinking about how we can design our life to have more of that in our life. another thing is I think it's good not to actually invest a lot of money in the first couple of years. people can be tempted to take workshops and do things I think that it's not a good idea, actually. And I think that whatever work we do and come up with in our investigations, It's needed to get us to what we might be doing during that time. But it doesn't mean that that is that what we've come up with is what we're going to be doing in that time. and then I also had to process some times where it was like, I had a consulting plan where I could do something and, make a lot of money, maybe just working 120 hours a year. It sounds so great. You know, I don't know where the passion is in that look,

Kathleen: 39:12

Yeah. That's

Brenda: 39:13

but yes. it. sounds great. And some of those things can sound really great, but, if they're not motivating you and driving you, then actually they could be taking up space until you decide that's not what I'm going to do. and of almost at the place where I might just put some of that stuff to rest. Like, Nope, I'm just not, this is working. This is what I'm going to be doing. And, you know, that'll be there if I need it, I suppose, but I'm not putting any more energy in that direction. And, I guess there's also a, an element of trust, really trusting and, I don't know, just every day asking ourselves, is this working and if not, what little thing do I want to change up?

Kathleen: 40:02

It sounds to me as though you take census every day and you evaluate what you've done, where you want to go. Does it fit? And I've, Yasmin knows I love shoes. So does this pair of shoes really fit well? And if it doesn't, sometimes you just have to let them go. And move on. And I think that it's, that's maybe a metaphor that a lot of people are not going to be, comfortable with, but I think that you're right. one of the things that Yasmin and I talked about was I, when I retired, I said yes to everything. Anyone asked me anything, I said, yes, I'll try it. Yes, I'll do it. And I very quickly discovered, I'm not going to put effort into this because it's not rewarding to me. It's not fulfilling to me. And I see no purpose in it. And quite frankly, I think what you've just described is a very similar approach to accepting what comes your way and what thoughts you have may not be the thoughts that you keep in that retirement design.

Brenda: 41:02

Totally, totally. And not, and being okay with that. Like we don't have to shoot ourselves just because, we, spent our day that way. Like the next day is a new day.

Yasmin: 41:13

And I could see how curiosity can. Go to the extreme where it becomes FOMO where not only are you curious, but you've got this fear of missing out. And so you say yes to everything until you're depleted and you're, you become out of alignment, right? And that's where you pull back. But, we have to be conscious as to where our threshold of curiosity steps into scarcity. And we're able to, Maintain that level of, in your case here, Brenda, alignment, is this aligned? Is this bringing me love? Is, am I inspired? Does this create vitality for me? and is this ease? and when you check in doing reflection on that, then you can say, Hey, you know what? Maybe not right now or maybe not ever, but that's okay.

Brenda: 42:03

You know, what's really fascinating is that, I did have this time where, the very first thing that I was scheduling, like, you know, I had a morning and afternoon and evening walking date. Like for months You know, I love all my people. you know, what's so interesting is yes, all that stuff ends up taking your time and pretty soon you're like, okay, like, where am I going? Do I need to go somewhere? Well, no, I don't need to go somewhere, but I'm just, and is this fulfilling? Well, it is. But what's so fascinating is when I started knowing that I wanted to, start helping people to become more active in their life. And so I'm going to go to Portland State and take these classes that help me better understand movement and activity. then it was clear how I wanted to use my time. It was really clear. okay, two walks a week, and so my filter changed. now my filter is like study, class, get ready for classes. And. Eat good and do my exercise and activity and my partner and my family, but, and I love my friends and they trickle in too. but when you end up really honing in on the why or the purpose, and that is really clear, your time just, it just automatically changes to support that. But if you don't have that, it will fill up with other

Kathleen: 43:43

stuff. Yeah. Could be a lot of stuff.

Yasmin: 43:47

As we wrap up any final thoughts from, you Brenda or Kathleen as well,

Kathleen: 43:53

my thought is, I think this is a fantastic episode and I think everyone needs to listen to this and hopefully, Brenda, you'll share it with all of your, friends and family and your clients. Because I think that sometimes when they're in the jar with you, they're They may not have the perspective that you've shown us today. So I really appreciate that. It's been enlightening and motivating. Thank you so much.

Brenda: 44:18

it's fun. I just feel like we slowly can shift and design and create our experience. And I know things happen with our health, with our family, and in our life, things come up. And sometimes we have to reach to the mindset to help us get through some of those things that just come up and feel like they're roadblocks, but we still can navigate and maneuver. And create, at least some of that experience as we're moving through. And, so I don't know, persistence and curiosity and compassion and understanding all of that stuff is in my pie

Kathleen: 45:01

I think that you've shown us a lot of intention as well. Well,

Brenda: 45:07

And we do get hijacked sometimes and that's okay. Yeah.

Yasmin: 45:12

Brenda, how does our audience, find you and also, engage or connect with you?

Brenda: 45:18

I have my website, um, brendalsutton. com. you can look me up on Facebook. I have an Instagram right now called Traveling Transformations and I have Brenda Sutton also. I'm not so good at maintaining those things. my Facebook is extremely just real me. you can contact me through my website for sure.

Yasmin: 45:44

And I'll be sure to include the links to your website, to your Facebook and any other resources that you think would be valuable. And, we are so grateful, Brenda, for you sharing your time, your wisdom, your experience, your inspiration, your aliveness with us today. And, We're so delighted to have you. Thank you.

Brenda: 46:04

One more thing I'll say, live large, love big, stay strong, and have fun. There you go.

Kathleen: 46:16

we did today. Thank you for all that fun we had.

Brenda: 46:20

Yes.

Yasmin: 46:21

Thank you.

Brenda: 46:22

Thanks, both of you.

Kathleen: 46:23

if anyone would like to listen to more podcasts, just like the brilliant one you've just heard, don't forget, join our community and have a lot more fun along the way.

Yasmin: 46:35

Thank you for taking the time to join us today. If you enjoyed this episode or found it valuable, please subscribe, follow, and leave a comment or view on your favorite platform. If you have friends, clients, or loved ones who are retired or thinking about retirement, we invite you to share this show with them. Check out the show notes with links to resources mentioned in this episode at retirement. com. Realretirementshow. com. Remember, retirement is a joyful journey we get to experience together. Join us next week for another Real Retirement Conversation.