Yasmin: 0:08

Hello and welcome to the real retirement show. My name is Yasmin.

Kathleen: 0:14

And I'm Kathleen and oh my god, we're going to have little blips in this and it's going to be fun.

Yasmin: 0:19

Today we're diving into the heart of retirement, sharing our personal stories and shedding light on the unexpected emotional journey that comes with stepping away from a structured career, whether you're gearing up to retire or you're in the thick of it, or helping someone close to you through their retirement journey. We're here to explore, laugh and even shed a few tears as we tackle everything retirement throws our way. So grab a comfy seat and let's get the conversation started. Can you believe that we're here already, kathleen?

Kathleen: 0:52

It seems like it's been longer than a year, but it definitely has flown by.

Yasmin: 0:57

I can't believe that it was almost around this time last year when I was on a call with you and I said hey, Kathleen, I think I have an idea that I'd like for us to explore. And here we are 365 days later, we're here starting this podcast and inviting you all to join us.

Kathleen: 1:16

You know what, yasmin? You've remembered that during that period I retired, officially retired. I had approached my daughter and said I think I want to do a podcast because fairly dynamic changes and she's obviously a different generation. So I thought that'd be fun. You and I talked a little bit about that, but of course my daughter backed out when you brought this project to the forefront. I thought, wow, absolutely, because I retired the end of September. But in December I was thinking, oh my God, what now? I'm always been upbeat, but all of a sudden I was feeling a little depressed and I realized others were as well. So this was a whole new purpose and thank God for it. No, thank you for it, and I'm loving the process and I think that a lot of I know that a lot of people will have that same kind of revitalization when they start listening and becoming engaged in our community.

Yasmin: 2:14

Kathleen, who is this podcast for?

Kathleen: 2:17

Oh, wow, this podcast is for anyone lucky enough to be thinking about planning or experiencing retirement. You know, my dad always had a saying he always thought he wanted to be on the right side of the grass. I mean, that sounds very odd, you know, and at the time I thought, oh my God, dad, please. But my mom passed away when she was 48 years old and so she didn't ever get a chance to experience retirement process. And unfortunately, my father passed away when he was 72. Oh my God, I'm 72. Well, I'm going to outlive both of them, except the picture. That's a good thing, but he didn't have a lot of retirement years. And when I think about it, I think it's really important for anyone who is going to be lucky enough to think about it, plan for it or experience retirement. It doesn't matter whether it's you. You have a parent who is going through it, so you're helping with the planning. So that's who I think this is for, in a sense, everybody.

Yasmin: 3:29

I think the word that we may be exploring is those who are intentional about this retirement journey, those that are taking proactive approach and they're not just reacting to all of the zingers and all the unexpected things that happen.

Yasmin: 3:46

And so anyone that is really intentional about this next chapter, this journey, as you're going on it, and then also those who are really wanting more meaning, more peace of mind and perhaps deeper connection during this day, and perhaps those that are maybe feeling a bit lost or alone could really find value in this particular podcast. And even those that are living a joyful retirement, that want to inspire others to what's possible, and, whether you're a business professional or working with clients and others that may be retiring or working with seniors, this would be a great resource for them to be able to share with them a gift of a conversation, maybe something that they were afraid to ask or afraid to talk about. Now we have a way for them to explore. Kathleen, you've always been an inspiration to me, both from a career perspective and then also now, as you are transitioning or have been transitioning into retirement, and you're about what you got about 20 years on me, but I feel like I'm right there, right by your heels here on this journey.

Kathleen: 4:53

Actually. Come on, Yasmin, it's not 20.

Yasmin: 4:56

Is it not 22. 22. Okay, you know what Two years can really make a difference as well.

Kathleen: 5:04

Two years makes all the difference in the world when you're learning things.

Yasmin: 5:07

Absolutely. It's interesting. This past year, we have done so much talking to people, research, I think. We've watched hundreds of hours of YouTube videos, listened to podcasts, read books, attended events and even formed an online community to get our arms around the depth and the breadth of this topic, but also the journey, and, like you said, kathleen, everyone's journey is different. That's what we've realized. And then, along the way, there is a lot of information, but it's not always accessible. That's been another challenge. And then also, many people have been preparing financially for retirement, but the journey is so much more than that, and so there's this sense of what's next, now that I've got my finances in order I've got that in the process that what do I do now as things come up? So those are some of the things that we discovered on our research.

Kathleen: 6:05

Everything that we've done has provided us with the knowledge we needed to be here now helping others through this transition.

Yasmin: 6:13

Speaking of retirement, I'm sure our listeners and our audience are curious, like what inspired us to focus on this, to specifically this particular topic retirement.

Kathleen: 6:24

For me, it was that point in my life. I retired for three months and I thought, okay, this is not fun. And because depression was coming on. And then, when we started doing some research to realize that 10,000 people a day retire in North America like that's staggering. The stats on depression one in three listen, one in three will have clinical depression. Now, many people have huge challenges throughout their careers with depression as well. I'm not suggesting that I minimize that, but it struck me surprisingly that the statistics would be so high.

Kathleen: 7:05

And then, of course, I feel desperate to help men. I know that sounds really weird, but the highest rate of suicide for men is 75 plus. What does that tell you? And also the society, the approach to societal norms about retirement, that question. So what are you doing now that you've retired? Well, first of all, why do I have to do anything? And I'm trying to figure it out. So those are the reasons that I think really attracted me to this whole project because you can't do it yourself. I was a business coach for 10 years. I remember one of the first thing I would say to any of my clients is why on earth would you expect to have to do this alone. Especially as an entrepreneur, you need someone to help you guide the way, and that's really what retirees are. They're kind of like entrepreneurs that are entering into this world that they've never done before, they've never been there. They shouldn't do it themselves and they don't have to.

Yasmin: 8:12

Yeah, you're spot on, kathleen. And when we think about retirement, I remember a friend and business colleague that I worked with. He is approaching 80 right now and he refused to retire because the thought of retirement he would always say I'm not ready to be put out to pasture. It's this idea of you become no longer relevant or meaningful, and I think that's part of what drives the stress, the anxiety, the depression is that there's a series of different losses that happen.

Yasmin: 8:45

Dr Riley Moyan, who did a TED Talk on this, said that there are five different losses that happen during this transition. There's this loss of routine You're no longer going to the office, no longer taking on responsibilities, you're not waking up at a certain time. Then there's a loss of identity who am I If I am no longer the vice president of so-and-so, or the owner of this or whatever it is? How do I introduce myself? Who am I?

Yasmin: 9:12

And then there's this loss of various different relationships as well Relationships with your work colleagues and other professionals that you're no longer getting in contact with. And then, along with that, you get a sense of a loss of purpose. What am I supposed to do? Why am I even here? Things that people get asked, and then the final thing is you're also losing power. Perhaps in your professional career you had influence, you had others that report to you, and now maybe it's just yourself or your partner, and the power dynamics change too. So I think those, along with health decline and relationship dynamics, family dynamics, all of these play a role in the next step that we're just not prepared for.

Kathleen: 9:58

You know, one of the things, jasmine, that came to mind you and I talk briefly about this one day is preparing yourself for a change in your health, and how do I navigate that? Our health system in North America is, I'm going to say, a little bit broken in that, unless you're going to go into private, but I'm in Canada, so we have a different kind of healthcare here, and when you are faced with what could be a catastrophic disease and you're going in for tests and then two weeks later you might get the result, that anxiety period for two weeks can just alter your life and change your mindset for a very, very long time, and I think that preparing yourself for changes in health is a vital, important aspect. That's going to be a topic that we deal with later, but I just want to mention some of the things that we're going to be dealing with as far as our future. In our series we're going to deal with all kinds of things with mental health as well.

Kathleen: 11:03

As I said, we understand and discovered how vitally important that is, and we want people to have an understanding that well-being, whether it be mental health or physical health, is really important to us, and I'm going to brag a little bit here. We've got about 175 different topics and conversations that are going to take place over the next year, so there's going to be one that you can really say okay, that's my story, I can relate to that, this is what I need, this is how I'm going to find it. So, all of those challenges that you're facing, you don't have to do it alone, because we've got someone in our community that has been there and will help. You may not hold your hand, but certainly they'll be there to answer some questions.

Yasmin: 11:51

We invite people to not feel alone, but to know that there's others that are out there, and whether you are going through retirement yourself, or maybe you know someone who is, or maybe a family member or a loved one is going through retirement, this opportunity is for us to share that wisdom so that we can support those around us.

Kathleen: 12:13

You know I did mention that we're going to have experts and I'm just going to kind of step back a little bit. When I say experts, I'm talking about people who deal with these things all the time. We want to have people providing advice that are living it. So we'll have grief experts, because grief doesn't take place only with a loss. I had a friend reach out the other day. This broke my heart. My friend just lost her long time lost interior, devastating, you know such a loss. So she's going through grief right now and in fact the whole family is.

Kathleen: 12:55

So it's not just that you've lost a parent or a sister or brother God forbid a child but animals are so important in your life. The loss of one can really overtake you for a few days or weeks or months. And we have relationship coaches because unfortunately sometimes when people retire they discover that the commonalities aren't there and it's shocking but there's a lot of divorce that takes place once people retire. And then we'll also have professional tour guide tell us what it's like to go off and find a new journey, and it's wonderful to see how people change their direction in life and find new purpose and bring assistance to others in the process. So that's just a couple of the experts. If you will, that we've got lined up. Yasmin, maybe you can introduce some of the key topics that we're talking about, in addition to the ones that I spoke about before.

Yasmin: 13:58

A lot of these topics have come from feedback that we've gotten from various different people, as well as our research. Some of the key ones, like how do you find that spark back into your relationship, especially at this age? And also how do you communicate with your partner? Spending decades in our professional careers, all of a sudden we're spending lots of time with each other, and so how do you navigate some of those different dynamics? There's also navigating the journey of caregiving.

Yasmin: 14:27

Many of us have elderly parents that are going through various different health challenges, and so what are the emotional and other roles that we need to be mindful of? And then also, how do you stay active? Mobility, activity are such an important piece of our physical health during this stage, so we'll be able to explore what ways to retain that mobility. And then also, one of the questions that many people ask is who am I now that I've retired? How do I rediscover my talents, my passion, my purpose, many things that many of us perhaps put on the shelf as we focus on our families and careers, most of our lives, and also limiting beliefs, things that get in the way of our joy, things that we believe may not be possible, that prevents us from having a joyful retirement. So those are just a few, but, boy, we have so many different topics and we're continuing to explore topics that you're interested in.

Kathleen: 15:29

Do you remember when we had our very first focus group and we spoke to people who had a varying degree of I don't want to say disagreement, but various opinions on what they felt retirement should be? And I remember one person who shared with us that retirement hadn't come joyfully to her because it was an early downsize and in her career she had to take on a whole new role and she dove into well-being and anything that would increase her longevity. And because she was so young and I think now my gosh, I see her she walks six K a day. But it was so different from someone else who had prevented travel because of health, so her health had been diminished, she hadn't taken those self-care steps that she should have and had bone density tests taken and ended up fracturing a bone while on vacation. So it was so interesting to see the differences between the mindset of people who, quite frankly, were very similar in age and their backgrounds were similar but they are approached to retire so completely different.

Yasmin: 16:53

It was interesting. It felt like people were just Waiting for an opportunity to talk about some of these topics that so many people have been Holding in trying to figure out. I'm struggling and realizing that I'm in a room with others that are experiencing the same thing and Others who might have some ideas, and I have some something to share as well, so it was such a refreshing Opportunity to bring people together and have these conversations.

Kathleen: 17:21

We called it a focus group. It really wasn't what a focus group is traditionally formatted, as this was a conversation was a small group of people who were determined to share their experience, and In doing so, I think we gleaned a lot of information from that the information Oftentimes are really hard to find, other than everyone knows that, oh, it's heavy on finances. That's really what every person who talks about retirement Well, I shouldn't say that, not every person, but many people who speak about retirement are specifically Focused on Finances, and there's nothing wrong with that, because God knows that if you don't have your finances in place, your retirement can Take a slower path than expected. You know what thing he asked me that? I think that I'm gonna Kind of take a step back, because I I apologize we have a wellness assessment that is absolutely available to anybody who would like to try and see where they fit in.

Kathleen: 18:29

What, how many, 10 categories and category yes, and you get scored on each category and it helps you highlight what maybe needs to be augmented a little bit or, if you choose, and then it'll have a link to our resource center, which is soon to be released, and that will offer you access to a myriad of articles, podcasts, such as this, and a lot of other information. So I encourage everyone to take that assessment and we'll actually put that in the link so that it's an easy thing to do. It takes about five or six minutes, but, oh my god, is it on point and it. You uncover Sometimes surprisingly so things that you thought, okay, I've got that covered, I'm really good in this. You'll be surprised and I think that it you'll be delighted as well, and it's interesting when you have a couple. If they both take it, it's not always in sync, so sometimes you get strength from those who are different and it's nice to see that. That's an opportunity for you as a couple to experience.

Yasmin: 19:42

Yeah, that's so powerful, kathleen. When we think about growing up, going to school, there's a roadmap for that. You make it through grade school and then you go to college and then you have you get married, you have kids, you have your career. Everything's got a roadmap to it. But when you step into retirement, it's like this uncharted territory, and this assessment tool is our way of helping provide some guidance and, in many ways, even a roadmap, where, whether you're retired, you're checking to see if you're ready for retirement, not just financially but in all the other categories or whether you've already stepped into retirement. You want to check in and see how well you're doing.

Yasmin: 20:23

We developed both the readiness assessment as well as the well-being assessment. That isn't a judgment, but it's a way to get some clarity as to how am I doing on my family dynamics, how am I doing on my purpose, how am I doing on my mental and emotional well-being, and this provides that guidance, provides a roadmap as to where to focus. And as we focus on these different areas now, we're also discovering what are the other questions that come up? What are other people experiencing? Who can I connect with to get support? And that's part of our mission is to really not only provide the resources, but provide the clarity and the community, so that you don't have to go on this journey by yourself and that to know that your unique, individual journey is valued. It's not this one prescription where everybody has the same journey. So we invite you to take advantage of this tool, this assessment tool, to at least give you a roadmap as to what's ahead and where you want to focus on.

Kathleen: 21:22

You know, yasmin, I'm so glad that you were detailed in that. That's the nice thing about Yasmin and I. We're complimentary in that he's a detailed guy, which I love, and I'm kind of an idea. Put it out there, let's get it done, girl. One of the things I do want to just point out to you what our purpose has been is to be a conduit for you.

Kathleen: 21:43

We have collected all of this resource material not because we're genius, but because we know it's important. It took hours and hours and hours and hours to find this, and so, instead of you having to look and search and go down those rabbit holes that we've missed on, we have gleamed all of the information that we believe, based on our interviewing and based on our focus groups, that you deserve to have available, easy and accessible, and that's what our whole community is all about. We want to make life easier for you. We want to make it more joyful for you. We want you to have fun for having sex. This is a serious time in your life, for sure I get it. You know some people saying the runway is right there. We want that runway to be the best runway you've ever had.

Yasmin: 22:34

It certainly is. And you said the J word, joy. It's right there, joy, and part of creating a joyful chapter of our lives is to be a part of it with others as well. We are excited to invite you to do this together with us and to be together. Any other final thoughts, kathleen?

Kathleen: 22:56

First of all, this whole process was exciting. My husband said are you nervous? I said why I'm talking to friends for having sex, why would I be nervous? But I think that it can be a little intimidating when you go to share something. So we encourage you to give it a try. You know, if it doesn't work the first time with the first person, try someone else. I am 100% sure that this is going to make a huge change in many people's lives. Find us, share us, give us to your friends, to your neighbors. Make sure that anyone in your circle, in your tribe, knows that you found something that you believe is valuable. Well, we know it's valuable, but we want you to take and share this with all of your friends and join in the discussions and submit your questions and your stories. We love to hear them.

Yasmin: 23:55

It's realretirementshowcom, and this show will be available on all the different podcast platforms, whether you're on Spotify, Apple podcast or any of the other podcast shows, and then also on YouTube. So if you want to actually see us, then we also have a link to our YouTube channel as well. This is a show that we are excited to share with you on a weekly basis and bring real people, real stories, real heartbreaks, real joy and real solutions too. That's why we called it real retirement because we want to give you the real deal.

Kathleen: 24:33

The real deal for sure, and we hope that you appreciate what we've done. We hope that you enjoy what you're going to be receiving, and joy is part of the process.

Yasmin: 24:46

Wow, thank you, kathleen.

Yasmin: 24:48

I got to be really honest here too. I've been nervous, and it's interesting. I'm nervous because there's this sort of well, I've got to say the right thing or to perform, and all that. The reality is that you and I have had conversations literally almost every single week for the past year, and the richness in which we've been able to explore the conversations just from hey, guess what happened today?

Yasmin: 25:13

Or wow, kathleen, I'm experiencing this those were the real moments that I felt so much gratitude and joy that I got a chance to be able to share and explore and learn and Kathleen's a professional nudger too, so she likes to nudge me out of my comfort zone but I remember all of these conversations. What if others got a chance to witness those with us? And so if we kind of felt a little bit I don't know stiff in this first episode, know that maybe it's still so snared, but we're going to invite you to come back and to share the real connection that we have, not only with each other, but also with our guests and with others that are going to be a part of our community as well too, and so I just want to leave it at that. Let's just keep it real and just chill out and let's have a good time together.

Kathleen: 26:08

Yeah, we are organic, there's no question. Scripting is not us, but we love to hear from all of you and, yasmin, I'm just so, so thrilled that you invited me on this journey with you and, quite frankly, it's kind of a good thing that my daughter and I didn't do the podcast.

Yasmin: 26:26

Well, you know, everything has its time, and perhaps we can have her on the show as well and talk about what it's like to have a mom that's retired there. Yeah, that's a great idea. That's a great idea.

Kathleen: 26:40

Well, to all of those people who are out there planning it, thinking of it, living it, have a wonderful journey and we'll see you next time. Remember, if you're on YouTube, subscribe. It's important for us to get to in the tribe. We want to see as many people and then, of course, we'll be able to communicate more effectively with you and answer your questions and plan for some of the topics that you're interested in. Awesome.

Yasmin: 27:06

Well, we'll include all the links in our show notes for you, and in the meantime, may joy be with you, have a joyful retirement journey, and we look forward to connecting with you again next week.

Kathleen: 27:17

Next week.

Yasmin: 27:19

Take care.